THE NERVE OF YOU ALL

I address this to my students who dare have the TEMERITY to underestimate my intelligence and take too much advantage of my niceties. You know who you all are, I hope this strikes you worse than any of the admonitions of your instructors.

I am DEEPLY disappointed with what you had done with your Final Exams. I've half a mind to fail those who think they can get away with copying answers from their classmates without even as much as an effort to try and "fool" me in the slightest. This is just too underhanded and annoying to an extent since I know I'VE WARNED YOU ALL ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

If ever I do get the nice aura and decide to try and ignore this show of foolishness, do NOT expect any interesting grades from me. I was quiet the entire exam duration since I was hoping the severity of mooching off a classmate's hard-worked answers would not be this bad. Apparently I was wrong.

I placed my trust in all of you that what I was discussing is clear to everyone. I gave you all the patience and limits I know I have everytime we had class. I took the blows when other instructors questioned my methods with you all and the seemingly-endless leniency I exerted over all of you. In repayment you give me THIS? In repayment you do what I have always warned you about even before this happened?!

Disappointing. I'm glad I'm leaving you all next term.

A Barrage of SMS

I take a break from my current tedious task of documentation at work as I have been struck with inspiration to post this rather interesting event that took place this morning. It somewhat involved my students, my usual lazy habits, and a hell lot of SMS. Trust me, I have never waded through this stream of SMS messages before.

***
The Scene: A Barrage of SMS

It had been my usual custom to play games in the evening, ending up sleeping early in the morning (around 2-3am). Lately though I've been engrossed in a little documentation work and thanks to GLEE as well, I ended up sleeping at 4am this time.

I feared for my students again, since whenever I end up sleeping during the most unholy hours of the dawn, I end up being either late or completely absent for my morning classes, and this habit seems to have negatively persisted throughout this trimester, one thing that discourages me from taking morning classes anymore. Thus I resolved to give them my mobile number and get theirs just so they could know if I'll even turn up for class or not.

So there I was sleeping at 4 in the morning, dreams slowly swimming in my head, when half an hour later I was forcibly dragged back to reality as the Protoss Zealot sounded from my phone (yes it is my ring tone). Three-part dazed, three-part asleep, and three-part annoyed, I pick it up, wondering who would even dare text me in this hour.

'Good Morning!'

It was an unnamed contact, but after three prior texts in the past evening I know who it was - one of my devout students. Cursing to myself I plopped back to bed and tried to get some sleep.

As expected, my little brother woke me at 6 in the morning and groggy as I was, I marched to the sofa (as I always end up doing despite anything I do against it) and fell asleep for another good hour. At 7 I was shaken awake by another text message, paraphrased:

'Hoy Dave! (Joke) Nasan ka na? Magkaklase ka ba?!'

Yet another student of mine, this time one of the loudest ones I've had, and even through LCD screens I can sense her intensity as she texted it. Groggily, I answered that I won't make it and I would attend their next class.

7:30 another message arrives, this time from the student who texted prior at 4:30:

'Sir sigurado bang aattend daw kayo? Nagtatanong sila'

Cursing at myself again, I replied the same as the previous texter, wondering if these guys even talk to one another about what I broadcast. Seeing the time I decided to start preparing for the next class.

Before I left the house, yet another text message welcomes me, this time asking if I'm already on my way to work. By this time a bout of annoyance was already over me, since I felt like a child being nagged by parents as to my whereabouts.

Thanks to a burning hot traffic I arrived several minutes late, and as I was to take the jeepney to the school, one final text rains down on me:

'Sir san kana?'

I wanted to die right there and then.

When I got to class, I delivered a short nugget of madness:

'Guys I appreciate that you care for me and the class, pero when I say that I'll be coming to class, I'm coming. There's no need to barrage me with SMS messages like as if I'm your kid or boyfriend'

Suffice to say they were laughing as I let loose my exasperation in a fit of frenzied exhaustion.

***

Yes, a fine way to close the week. LOL

The Daveaholics in Teacher's Day!

So YES, my dear students, you have just broken my mind yet again.

Pardon the initial statement, but this is more of an internal thing between my students and myself, who seemed to have taken root on me once again. I never really did expect that they'd grow on me like the others before them have done so and frankly speaking it flatters me that I still possess the flair to be the cool instructor that I am *gets shot*

Anyway, class was moderately amusing today partly because of this one scene that reminded me of the special occasion that is today - Teacher's Day! I must remember to greet my mother and mentor too later LOL.

The Scene - Teacher's Day Greeting

I was in the middle of discussions during my SYSTAND (Systems Analysis and Design) Class on my Accountancy students when all of a sudden one of the senior Accounting students who is also enrolled in another SYSTAND class of mine walks by the door and waves at me.

As I usually do with my students when they get the urge to start disturbing other classes of mine, I amusingly shoo them away but still they persisted so I had to take matters into my own hands.

Me: Huy, wala ka bang klase at nagkakakaway ka sa classroom ko?
Student: Happy Teacher's Day Sir!
Me: Ay gumaganon ka. Teacher's Day pala ngayon?
Student: Oo naman sir, kaya ka nga binabati e!
Me: Wag malakas, baka marinig nila batiin din ako.

I should also tell now that the door was ajar the entire time I was conversing with the student. Suffice to say the entire class can hear what I'm yakking about.

Me: Sige na baka hindi ko matapos dinidiscuss ko.
Student: *smirks* Sige sir, kita kits sa klase.

When I entered the room to resume discussion, a chorus of 'Happy Teacher's Day!' welcomed me back in.

To add icing into the cake, several of my students seemed to have banded together and formed the group they had dubbed as the Daveaholics - or even worse using my last name and making it appear like the Flores de Mayo celebration (Santacruzan). I admit I was flattered at the action, but that was after I overcame the hurdle of wanting to jump at them and strangle them to death. LOL

So yes, Happy Teacher's Day to my fellow members of the academe!

A Frenzy of Humor

Class is once again in session!

I deeply apologize to all my blog patrons for not being at par in posting content in here, I have been quite occupied lately with a lot of stuff that involved a lot of things, my students included.

A few days ago marked the beginning of the second trimester of AY 2010-2011, the third term I'm handling since my 6-month exile into unemployment and idleness. Suffice to say I've missed teaching so much that I've made it quite an integral part of my life and I'm fortunate to have found an IT career that can let me cater to both worlds at the same time. Maybe it's something my mother and I have shared - a teacher who's getting involved in IT stuff and an IT Professional who's getting involved in teaching LOL.

As it is, I got handed down another marathon course run on one of my interesting classes - a wild coincidence, as the same instance also happened to my first ever favorite class two years ago. Perhaps fate is trying to play tricks on me or give me more reason to get more gray hairs. As it is, I am currently handling AC102/103's ALGEBRA and SYSTAND classes, on a consecutive schedule of 7:30 - 9am and 9:15 - 10:45 am respectively. It is an understatement to say that they've grown tired of seeing my face and hearing me speak.

Today was an exceptionally interesting day as I've already given in to letting my students know of the existence of this blog - that is, opening up all my incriminating antics in class for the new blood of vermin to see. I hope you guys find this an interesting read too, as it will concern you now. >:D

This particular experience I'll share happened today, while I was discussing on the said marathon class.

Scene One - Algebra, the Poker Face Instructor

As an instructor of mathematics I've made it a point to check every so often if and when my students are following with the discussion and not just agreeing with anything and everything I say, so as a part of my teaching strategy I deliberately make mistakes to see if I can incite a reaction or try to turn a student's correct answer around into a wrong one.

Me: Ok guys, in evaluating a squared times a to the fourth (a2 x a4), the answer would be...?
Student # 1: Sir, a6 (a to the sixth)!
Me: *raises an eyebrow* Sigurado ka dyan?
Student #2: a8 Sir! (a to the eighth)
Me: Mm-hmm *erases the previous answer and updates with new one*
Students: Hindi sir, a6 dapat yung sagot!
Me: *shocked* Bakit a6?! Pano nangyari yun
Student #1: Sir kasi diba dapat i-a-add yung exponent pag minumultiply?!
Me: Oo nga, so dapat a6 yung sagot. *smirk*
Student #2: Daya naman ni sir oh, panglito!

Made my day already with just that sweet remark. I appreciate it when my students learn a thing or two from my own sarcasm and amusement.

Scene Two - Systand, Three hours of Ordeal

I was in the middle of discussing the traits and skills needed by a Systems Analyst and how it bridges the IT and Business world when I got a remark from one of my students.

Student #1: Sir, ang lamig naman!

I noticed here on that most of my students were somewhat shivering on their seats. The lights had been turned off due to the overhead projector being turned on and directed at my general direction for the acetate slides and the AC had been turned on at full blast - both of them.

Me: Malamig? Di kaya, init init e.

You guys should know that I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt as is my usual custom whenever I'm wearing civilian attire. Naturally it would not be as cold.

Student #1: Kayo kaya sir try nyo maupo dito sa likod ng 3 hours na malamig!
Me: Eh kayo kaya try nyo din tumayo dito sa harap ng 3 hours tas nagsasalita pa.
Student #2: Daya nyo sir umupo din naman kayo kanina nung break ah.

The remark caught me unexpectedly and I'll admit I didn't have any counter to that.

Me: Ok fine sige talo na ko *laugh*

Discussion continued afterwards but still I can't shake the amusing thought off my head.

It's times like these when I love my students and can rely on them to dissipate any excess stress of my head. Then again they can be the source of my stress sometimes LOL.

A Term begins Anew

Class is once again in session!

I have had the fortune of landing my usual teaching post in Asia Pacific College for the opening of the school term 2010-2011 and I have been assigned four classes of rowdy, bustling first years, all of them enrolled in my IT Concepts Class.

It has been a tradition of mine since I started teaching that my first trimester at school would be devoted to teaching first year students. Their young minds and passions (and untouched innocence of mind from the rigors of College Life) make them ideal targets for my antics and to shape them to become active and lively students throughout their stay in the College. On the side, I find ruining their lives in a most humorous and entertaining manner very intoxicating and thus I have been duly motivated to handle four business-related classes this time around for my IT class.

At least, rowdy and bustling were the words I was expecting for my first day in class. As always, I found the first years the exact opposite of what I had expected: quiet and still.

Hopefully as I continue with this exciting new term (I will be meeting more of my students this Thursday) I will be treated to a whole new avenue of teaching experience that both me and my new students would cherish for the days to come :D

The Final Exams Approach

Good Afternoon Class!

It's been a long while since I last made a post to my blog and for a moment I've had the vague notion that I've repeated a long-withstanding curse upon my online self - that is, not being a devout contributor to the blogosphere. However, I shall try to remedy those in due time, but I believe renewals are in order :D

Nearly the other half of the trimester passed during my online absence and frankly I've endured way more trying things than the madness I put up with during the first phase of the trimester. Overall this trimester has been both fun and trying on my nerves, learning new approaches to teaching, socializing with new students, and learning more and more about what I can really do as an academician. Sometimes I think I was born for a school or a university and not for a software developer, but hey, I can get the best of both worlds, right?

As it stands, the final exams are almost upon my students and it seems only like yesterday that I marched into their doors and started teaching them the subjects that they have now learned (hopefully) by heart.

With that I reopen my classroom *dusts off cobwebs and brushes off dirt on teacher's desk*, I hope this doesn't close as long as it used to the last few times XD

Oh, and a new signature!

Midterm Exams: A Season of Insanity

It's been QUITE a long time since my last post and all of my students are probably wondering why I have not made a single post yet since the previous one - the gist of the matter is that there is truly nothing postworthy as of note, ergo nothing that meaningful to post. This insane rambling of a blog I made may be all humorous and fun to read, but of course it is down to my part to ensure that everyone gets an amusing read out of whatever I post here, not just something out of a necessity to post.

Anyway, moving along, it is currently the midterm season of the trimester and I've been busying myself in handling exam preparations and administering them to my classes for this week - the first half of my test of mettle whether they truly have learned something from my mad teachings or not. It's been something that bothers me for the better part of this half-term since I fear that my students are either afraid of relaying their actual sentiments regarding my style of discussion or have really not learned anything at all.

My loyal and devout students, however, I spared no expense in preparing nothing but the most exciting exam for them, and the idea struck me as I was raiding in Icecrown Citadel Sunday afternoon - I've encountered an experience with my accountancy students that they tend to have a little issue in reading up an exam's general or specific directions. Hence I opted to create the most insane midterm exam I have ever done.

The Crazy Instructions of my Midterm Exam

I. True or False. Write F if the answer is true and T if the answer is false.

II. Multiple Choice. Write the letter of the correct answer. Odd numbers should be answered in uppercase letters, even numbers in lowercase letters.

III. Identification. Write the answers in reverse on the space provided before each item. That is, the answer for # 1 should be in the space before #10, the answer for #2 in the space before #9, and so on.

IV. Enumeration. Answer the following questions thoroughly. Full marks only if the enumeration is done in sequential order.

V. Essay. Express your thoughts on the issue below. If you have adhered to the general instructions, draw a smiley on the box beside the question and skip this part of the exam.

You have no idea how much of a brain problem it caused my students as they labored over the midterm exams. While they did express themselves that the exam was simple as pie, they could not help but get trumped by the simple act of obeying the rather weird instructions. This is the first time my beloved students ever cursed me amusingly in class for giving out such an insanely weird test.

Well, that opens up my midterm exam week. I hope to get more insights in this week as to the outcome of this breathtaking moment in my academic life.

Exam Week: The Instructor's Time for Himself

It's examination week for me for this week - not exactly a tedious major exam week but more of a long exam week for my MINSYST, ALGEBRA, and BUSMATH (this reminds me actually that I still need to make my ALGEBRA exam for Thursday!). So far I've handed in my MINSYST and BUSMATH exams and suffice to say I've done an interesting activity while watching my students squirm in pain and misery at the suffering they're going through.

I've been a LEGO fan for the longest time - ever since I was a child I was already playing with those wondrous plastic toys that interlock and form curious yet interesting shapes and figures. From medieval castle systems to cityscape houses, I can't seem to get enough of LEGO, and when I started making money for myself I made it a point to allocate some of my funds to create my personal collection of LEGOs - not something I'd end up losing or wasting away, mind. Hence I chose a particular set of LEGOs to collect - the Lego Racers!

So far I've built about 15 cars overall and 1 racetrack on the works. Lately though they've started cluttering up desk space so I opted to demolish them all into their fragments and stow it in a bag. Now that I've renewed my hype in them, I've unearthed the things from my desk and now use it to recover my wasted mind from my day-to-day classes.

Well this time I opted to play the LEGOs while the quiz is in session so, making use of a game board box as a container, I marched in class, distributed the exam paper, then sat on the teacher's desk to play with the legos while watching the class. I admit it was a little ineffective in terms of spotting cheaters but heck, let them cheat their way if they want to - it's their life to end up in ruins in the future anyway.

So after three exams and several building-demolishing-rebuilding of the LEGO plan I had in mind, I came up with these imaginative (and exceptionally weird) car designs!

As you can see they form the weirdest shape possible for a car - let alone a monster truck - where in heaven's name would you find a car that is actually two cars fused into one?

Still, it's cute. And it was conceived at the height of my students' misery. Maybe I should do it more often next time, LOL.

Mindfuck in the Classroom: The Wrath of the Instructor

An interesting discussion over plurk transpired today about school ethics and frankly it made me think whether I had been a completely 'by-the-book' instructor with my ways and all. Sure, I still poke fun at the crappy instructors, who are technically now my officemates and still like the instructors I've had a crush on during my student days - not that I openly express them into their face, no - my ethics is still stable as far as things go.

The discussion turned to a new vista of opportunity to explore as part of mad antics - being a serious instructor at the face of my students' knowledge about me - truthfully speaking this is nothing new as I've done this in the past, in a scene I will now share that highlighted my greatest serious-yet-WTF moment in class.

Scene: Hookey Students get a Treatment

It was the celebration of the College's main fair, more often referred to as the College Week, a time of great festivity to all students and staff of the College. This is the only time when all departments collide to create the greatest bash ever to be seen in the school year.

It is part of the instructor guidelines for the week to encourage their students to attend the activities but still not forget about conducting their classes whenever necessary. As for me, being a Business Mathematics instructor during the time, I was religiously following my syllabus and conducting lessons accordingly.

Lo and behold was I surprised when I entered their classroom, I found no one inside! My thinking immediately concluded that my students had gone over to an event that coincided with my schedule, and I would have cared less if they did, really. I suppose by now my readers would know that I do not restrain my students from free expression and let them do as they wish even in class.

But the heck, they could at least let me know they're going to try and watch instead of skipping my class like a troop of rebels on a coup-d'etat. I didn't teach them to be hookey-playing students!

Frankly that moment I was pissed and hence I scrawled up a note and taped it on their classroom door. The gist of the message read thus:

"The next time you guys decide na pumunta sa mga events nang hindi nagpapaalam sa kin wag na kayo umatend sa klase ko!

- Sir Dave"

I then hurried away before any of them could return and see me. Even before I posted the message I had already 'forgiven' my students about this blunder, but my mad antics dictate that I should mess with their minds and consciences a bit.

The following meeting, I cautiously approached their classroom, wearing a glum and serious look. My students hanging outside immediately entered as if to warn their classmates. There was a tense aura of fear at work.

I entered the classroom and slammed the door behind me so hard even I scared myself. My class was mysteriously quiet and everyone was behaved and seated properly. My, I didn't know I could enforce this much authority!

I continued with my act and slammed my things on my desk so hard it made a loud noise. My markers clattered on the floor and my orderly stack of papers got slightly ruffled. The students sitting in front of me flinched.

Me: Ok, guys...

My cockiest student stood up and walked up towards me. For your info, he was part of the committee in charge with the event my students attended and felt responsible for not informing me properly.

Student: Sir, mag e-explain po ako tungkol sa last meeting...
Me: Bakit, anong nangyari last meeting?
Student: Sir, hindi po kami naka attend ng class, baka nagalit kayo.
Me: Bakit, sinong may sabing galit ako?

The tense aura in the classroom dissipated faster than it ever came. Explanations were exchanged and I gave my students the sage advice on skipping class properly. LOL

Talking behind one another's back

I was almost late for my BUSMATH class today, not that I looked forward to the moment, really, but after the class today I admit I was slightly encouraged to try and continue putting up with these guys for a little more time. They're quite about as earnest as their ALGEBRA classmates and are quite resilient as to learning too, so bring it!

I gave them the ultimatum: a repeat exam by next meeting and 10% of their current score will be factored in as bonus points so the effort put in the previous exam does not get wasted. I hope that after the lecturing and reminding and assisting that I've given today helps them pass the remedial exam. It just shows my readers how compassionate a brutal instructor I am >:3

In the middle of my discussion, this scene happened in class. I've been suffering from a little bout of colds for a few days now and has slowly started descending to a full-blown cough. Hence I could not control my reflexes while in class.

Scene One: The Sneeze

It was the middle of discussion and my nose suddenly twitched.
Me: *hastily grabs handkerchief from the teacher's desk and sneezes. Class smirks*
Student 1: Sir ang cute nyo bumahing!
Me: Nakakasakit naman, parang yun lang ang cute sa kin.

Scene Ends

I dismissed my class after the review of the results of their exam and once again Student 1 approaches me, triggering the next scene.

Scene Two: Talking behind one another's backs

Student: Sir nakita ko kayo sa caf kahapon
Me: Oh? Nakita moko?
Student: Oo sir, naupo ka sa table tapos binagsak mo ulo mo sa table, parang haggard ang dating nyo dun sir.

This very scene did happen in the cafeteria yesterday. After my ordealing ALGEBRA class, I headed for lunch with my companions and flopped my head in the lunchtable in exhaustion. A few tables away, I did remember seeing my BUSMATH students and chatted with my friends about their - interesting exam results.

Me: Ah, oo, medyo pagod sa lesson.
Student: Ang cute nyo nga sir e, lalo na nung kumakain kayo.
Me: Mga walanghya kayo ako ata pinag-uusapan nyo habang nandun kayo sa lamesa nyo.
Student: *laugh* Medyo naman sir.
Me: Pwes ako kayo naman pinag-uusapan ko sa lamesa namin!

Suffice to say it made my day in terms of my usual daily madness.

Scene Ends

The Sit-In Brigade

After the weathering business idea presentations from my MINSYST classes, I went to my ALGEBRA class as always, ever-prepared to face the numerous challenges I'm about to face for this class. The next lesson is Factoring, probably one of the most must-be-enforced avenues of learning in ALGEBRA, for without this the students would probably be reduced to gridlock in their ALGEBRA progress.

I have noticed that the number of students sitting-in my class have increased exponentially from 1 to 9 and steady on that level. Sometimes there are 10 students from both my undergraduate friends and the friends of my students and sometimes the entire class is almost filled up even though my enrollees for the class are just 19. (Max seat capacity is 30).

I honestly could not help but ask myself: What makes my class so interesting to these students? I am excluding from this consideration a possibility that they think I'm such an awesome instructor, because NO THE FRAKKING HELL I AM NOT!

So what possible avenues of thinking could I turn to?

The next thing I could think of would be the sit-in brigade is sitting in here just because they are bored with their lives and just wanted to sit somewhere to stare blankly into oblivion. I honestly doubt these sit-ins are here to learn ALGEBRA, NO FRAKKING WAY.

The last thing I could think of - is the students themselves.

As Instructor, I have long noticed that my class is comprised entirely of FEMALE students - and my sit-in brigade is solely composed of MALE students. Do the math. An accomplice sitting beside me argues that there are not many of the opposite gender to shoot at, so I argue: maybe it's just one, two, or maybe three.

Yes, everyone has their own agendas. TRULY.

I just leave this last LOLworthy moment that sent my brain in its usual Monday-Thursday insane overdrive:

Scene: The Perfect Square

Me: Ok guys, so is 1 a perfect square?
Class: *with conviction* Sir, NO!
Me: *turns around and bangs head on whiteboard*

Scene Ends

Looney Business Ideas

Today marks the end of this rather most interesting week - oh wait, it's just Thursday! Silly me, I'm already marking the end of the week - maybe it's because I already want this week to end, LOL.

Being the busiest of my school days, with three classes to man, I must admit that Mondays and Thursdays are my rush hour schedules, but I don't mind at all, it's quite renewing to the instructorship experience that I am back on my sanctuary - the classroom (or is it really now *thinks*)

Anyway, I entered both my MINSYST classes and started the group presentations of my students. The group activity is all about establishing a business idea, determining what features and concepts would give it a competitive advantage, and identify how Information Systems can play its role to the development and growth of their business.

I started with my 7:30 class and had 5 groups present their business ideas. Here's what I had gleaned from their presentations:

AC81 MINSYST

Events Management - One group presented the concept of an events management business that lets people arrange for their celebrations using the Internet and establishing connections with known catering and facility businesses to augment their strengths. One curious thing I gleaned from this idea is the fact that they integrated a 'game' of sorts that can be played over the web and 'simulates' the event organization that the customer wants to have.

Diner Dash crossover anyone?

Urban Spa / Resort - The first weird catch of the day, this second idea I listened into featured a resort smack in the middle of the bustling, big, and polluted metropolis. I had always imagined that resorts would perform best if they were in some tree-laden provincial place like Laguna or Batangas but no, these guys want it in the big city and are willing to put up massive tall fences just to shield the beautiful recluse from the gray, barren cityscape.

One absolutely LOL thing I heard from their presentation was the usage of 'colored swimming pools' - special pools that has colored water according to the customer's preference. So if I wanted a halloween party on this resort, can I color the pool waters black?

Small-time 5-star Hotel and Resort - Yes, feel the irony of this idea BITCHES! When I first heard the idea I just thought it was just some resort in the middle of nowhere where people can go on vacation, but when more ideas started piling in to this mix such as small replicas of the world's landmarks, a hotel, a classy restaurant, and a so-called 'infinity pool' that is placed near the sea to create an 'everlasting water' effect, I can't help but think - is this really a small-time hotel business?

Print-on-Delivery - I've never heard of this idea before but I find this one interesting, strangely. The idea is similar to that of conventional Internet Cafes that offer printing of documents and paperwork - only that the order can be done over the Internet and phone, and the printed output would be delivered at the customer's doorstep!

So does this mean if I ask for a 2-page printing of my resume they'd deliver it all the way to the corner of the city where I live? :P

Adventure Tours - I first thought that this business would be some sort of foreign safari to places like Africa or Amazon. Then I realized that it's just a zoo, amusement park, adventure park, and ocean park merged into one massive business enterprise, with restaurants on its borders. I find this a good idea overall, although failed to glean something LOLworthy from it.

The ideas I have gotten so far from the first class were all good, and when I entered the second class 1 hr and 30 minutes later it went from good to downright insane. 7 groups presented this time, each presentation growing more obscene than the next.

Ac82 MINSYST

MOONBUCKS - Yes, soon you'll be hearing from this company and then SUNBUCKS! I must admit that I found this idea highly absurd when I first heard of it - a good idea, yes, but taking on the most famous coffee shop in the world isn't likely to be a good idea for a starter business. That coffee giant's gonna make this business look like a cup of coffee.

Still, their concept of making use of local breakfast and pastry delicacies such as the kapeng barako and local treats like buko pie make it a unique business idea. The school-only coverage they offer, while sosyal at some points (intercom delivery, ordering via the school mail, etc) is quite a robust idea to try out.

The Semi-Restaurant - don't ask me HOW or WHY the term was conceived, I do not know myself - what I gleaned from this idea is that it's a vegetarian restaurant that serves, well, obviously, VEGETABLES, DUH!

So I was like, "So I can bring my pet goat, cow, or sheep here to eat as well?"

The idea was to serve vegetarian food for - well, obviously again, VEGETARIANS, DUH!

A "Happy" Funeral Homes - I had thought all along that funerals are supposed to be a time of mourning or at least a recognition of one's life well-lived in this world. When I heard this business idea though I could not help but think as if the business intends to celebrate one's death instead of mourning or recognizing it.

The business offers exclusive funeral arrangements such as accommodations so I figured, would the corpse be displayed on some expensive hotel-quality bed for everyone to see or can they configure it such that the corpse could somehow be displayed from the hotel-esque bathroom probably? They also offer buffet and catering services for the wake / funeral itself, so I was wondering if these guys had their mindset on planning a funeral or a debut.

"Dykajejudo" - again DO NOT ask me HOW or WHY this name or business even came into being. It's one of those "let's-merge-our-first-syllables-of-names-to-form-a-business-name" sort of things. It's technically a travel and tours business that made use of alliances established with other businesses to create a happy package of sorts. I wasn't particularly impressed with this result since it's similar to the example I gave out in class.

The Techie-Gym - A gym like no other featuring the robust capabilities of the Nintendo Wii! Nothing fancier other than that minor detail added in, so another business that I took little interest in.

A Perfect College Bookstore - So if this business were to take off, no college student would be able to say to his professor's face that he was not able to find or buy the book required for class since this business's ties with the publishers and knowing the needs of the Colleges and Universities make it a point that the bookstore is stocked full with the books and supplies that every subject of every school needs.

Supplies-in-a-box - When I first heard of this I thought that a bookstore / office supplies store got merged and squished in a tight vending machine where people can just purchase their goods via the vending machine. I found this an interesting idea, vending school supplies, but I feel that the idea is heavily constrained by the capabilities of the vending machine.

So there you have it, twelve business ideas overall, and all of them more interesting than the next. Next post will detail more madness I experienced in my ALGEBRA class.

Checking Papers: Sanity going down the drain

In the earlier post I had said that I administered the first Long Exam for my Business Mathematics (BUSMATH) students. The topic covered pretty basic and almost common-sense topics such as computing for one's Payroll, applying Discounts to products, and making use of Markup to establish product selling prices. I had figured my discussion of the topics in the past two weeks proved sufficient and stable enough to merit the students to learn and glean something about the topics and formulate good applications for them in the mathematical problems they'll be facing in the quiz.

Lo and behold, I was gravely mistaken.

It is my custom in class to roam around whenever a long exam is going on - I was a student once and I have the wise insight that an instructor who remains at the teacher's desk throughout a quiz is likely to escape several students who would want to cheat through the exam to pass - heck students even do it in plain sight of the instructor!

Not in my class. I've got more tricks up their sleeve than what they could possibly handle. But nothing, I SAY nothing, could ever prepare me for what lay ahead before me.

As I started correcting their papers in the sanctuary of my work area (where my ex-co-workers also stay in), suffice to say I was losing a drop of Sanity for each paper I corrected. I highlight below some of the questions and answers that I have to put up with in this exam that I honest-to-goodness do not even know how it came to being. Note that the wordings of the questions had been tweaked but in essence still delivers the same insanity I had tried to endure.

The Mind-Blowing Exam

Question: A particular appliance has a list price of 32,000 and had a 15% discount. What was the selling price of this appliance?

Insane Answers I got: 35,000; 60,000; 210,000

I honestly could NOT believe how discounting items could be done in such manner. By its definition alone, discounting even in practical day-to-day shopping means that a particular item receives a percentage slash on its original price, meant for customers to buy those products at lower prices. I couldn't believe my eyes seeing how the discounted price of an item could be worth MORE than its original undiscounted price.

Question: An employee makes a weekly salary of 5,000.00. Compute for this employee's annual salary.

Insane Answers I got: 50.00; 90.00

Again, I honestly admit I was spent on this question - quite a LOT of my students answered in this fashion, and although I admit I did not teach this topic myself - a previous instructor having taught this before I took over the class - I still could not fathom how even an average student could not have found it stupid that an employee would make an annual salary that does not barely even reach 100 pesos.

I do not know whether it is due to the fact that they were too loyal to the listed formulas that they did not use their imaginations to derive from said formulas or if they do not know the definition of annual at all.

Question: A business was given a bill of 150,000 with conditions regarding its payment. The business paid 30,000, 20,000, and 15,000 over the span of the payment period. Given certain discounts applied to such, how much is still due for payment?

Insane Answers I got: 600,000.00; 4,000,000.00

This takes the cake; It's the ultimate WTF moment for me. Even common sense dictates that after you pay for something you owe, it should be followed that whatever it is you owe is LESSER than what you already owe. Even if interest were to be factored in this scene, the answers I got were about 400% to 2000+% of the original debt due, so HOW... HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!

Even my co-workers, who were listening to me moan and yell in frustration as I checked each paper, could not help but wonder as to the interesting trains of thought my students seem to be riding on during the exams. Myself, I am insulted as their instructor since it appears as if they have not learned anything from my classes at all. Looking at their average results, I could say the passing rate is barely 25-30% if the passing mark is put at 70%.

I do not know where, what, or how I went wrong with this - I did the same strategies of teaching the topics as I did with my previous Business Mathematics class and never endured the same degree of insanity from their exam answers. Heck, the previous class I had took on a 2-year annuity computation and did it excellently! I wonder about this one when they reach that part of the discussion already.

I am still undergoing a thought process as to how I could possibly inculcate the lesson and the future ones into them and my most likely conclusion as of the moment is to try and review or repeat the discussions I've had with these topics using their quiz as basis for the mistakes they might have accidentally or deliberately committed.

I sincerely hope it's the former.

Geometric Exalted: Chosen of the Cartesian Plane

Yesterday's post highlighted the cross-overs I'm making with White Wolf's Exalted into my day-to-day mad antics in class, and when I administered my BUSMATH (Business Mathematics) exam today with the rather harder-to-socialize-with Tourism students, I devised the darker side of my Algebraic Exalted from ALGEBRA class - this one being the Geometric Exalted.

Similar to how the Solar Exalted and the Abyssal Exalted relate, the Algebraics and the Geometrics share a similar relationship - they are inverse of one another's concept, the same way both topics are discussed differently.

I will waste no time in highlighting them before I forget the essence of my next post, which will focus on the suffering I had to endure correcting their papers. Without ado, I present...

The Geometric Exalted: Chosen of the Cartesian Plane

The Linear Caste

Linear Caste Geometrics, like the line that they represent, are straightforward, direct students who take the lessons to heart and apply them properly without losing track of what's important - comprehension. Unwavering to their goal and focused to be as straight as can be lest they lose the essence of their existence, these Chosen are probably the most decent among the castes.

In other words, these are the students who have applied what they had learned in the lesson to heart and answered the exam as accurately and as correctly as they could. Few people get chosen under this caste's banner, sadly.

The Circular Caste

Circulars, like the shape they represent, revolve on an eternal, undying loop, for without a perfect loop that is equidistant from a particular goal, they cannot be called circles. In the same manner that the circle's center represents the topic in discussion, the Circulars strive to understand the topic, but end up pursuing the topic in circles until they form a vicious cycle of torment that never seems to end.

Exams-wise, these are the students who, try as they might to recall what they had learned in the past lessons, are unable to put the finger on the solution to the problem. Hence they end up going in circles with the problem they are supposed to solve.

The Hyperbolic Caste

The Hyperbola is one of the most curious geometric formations to ever be graphed on a Cartesian Plane, and its uniqueness and ability to skew from one end of the plane to another makes it a remarkable concept to bear its own Chosen. Students under this caste, while understanding of the lesson and formulas at heart, skew towards the other side and end up committing horrible mistakes.

In short, these are the students who make use of the wrong formulas to solve a particular problem. Correct and accurate as their application of the formula may be, they have ended up solving for the wrong answer.

The Point Caste

The foundation of every geometric figure in the Cartesian Plane is a point and without a point there would be no lines, no shapes, no spiraling figures ever. A point's presence is of the highest important but it only serves as a foundation to form the magical things that geometry provides. Hence those who bear the caste of the Point are those who are still starting out as foundations to greater knowledges, but will need other points or guidance before they can progress to greater levels of achievement.

Students under this caste may have grasped the fundamentals of the lesson, but fail to apply it when the problem suddenly changes its style of statement. Sad as it may sound, they are those who still needs to master thinking out of the box.

The Angular Caste

Angles are a curious thing in geometry, how the line suddenly 'breaks off' and skews elsewhere without forming a graceful curve. Its sheer flexibility of forming figures of nearly a degree to 360 makes it a highly amusing topic of discussion in geometry and to its brother branches of learning such as Trigonometry. Its Chosen, however, bear the same flexibility as an angle itself, capable of formulating clever tricks to outsmart the problem.

Of course, it is often sad or interesting (however it is taken) to note that the Angular Caste Geometrics make use of their interesting powers of flexibility to extend their knowledge in the exam towards that of their immediate neighbors.

***

So there you have it - the Geometric Exalted. Are you a Geometric and if so, under which caste would you belong?

Algebraic Exalted: The Five Castes

Speaking as a player of White Wolf's Exalted their power to create harmony in the concept of five strikes me with great interest, and whenever I compare the different classes / castes involved for each type of Exalted (or chosen of the Gods, if you may put it on plainest terms), I cannot help but figure out interesting connections that seem to fill up the gaps to make a unified whole.

Of course those who have not played this wonderful Role-Playing Game will not be able to relate, but that is completely another story or universe in itself. I now attempt to relate this to my ALGEBRA class today, wherein I received my most number of sit-in students so far, with almost 10 students sitting in along with my less than 20 attendance, almost filling up the class with people who did not even pay to be there at all. I do not mind, of course, I indulge them in self-promoting themselves to observers and it helps me prepare for that inevitable time when the deadly higher-ups of the College decide to pay my mad classroom a visit.

So thus today was a fun day in ALGEBRA as usual, ironic as it may sound I am finding this class as the best fun I've ever had in my terms of teaching. The students may be slow learners and need extra guidance to understand the lessons but at least they are fun to be with and are quite willing to learn. My usual methods of humor-in-between lectures seem to be working effectively and based from student feedback they seem to be working quite well.

So anyway, one of my accomplices in the undercover infiltration of this class from Day 1 again made his appearance in my class as a self-styled observer. From his wise observations, the clear text of which I would detail after the description of each caste, gave me the interesting thought of forming my own brand of Exaltations - The Algebraic Exalted.

Henceforth are the castes involved in this class, followed by the wise words of my accomplice.

The Algebraic Exalted: Chosen of the Infinite Set

The Quadratic Caste

Quadratic Caste Algebraics represent the highest degree of functions that can be discussed in typical ALGEBRA. Hence these are the Chosen who try their hardest to learn and are unsettlingly gifted with the capability to stand with the higher beings (ergo the Instructor) on equal footing though they still have lots to prove. Like a parabola they are, they take two sides of a coin - student and close chum to the Instructor.

Ang grupong ito ay yung mga tsumitsika sa mahal nating prof.

The Radical Caste

Radical Caste Algebraics represent the presence of a highly different type of operation in ALGEBRA - the radical expressions. Their very presence in the course is of great surprise and interest to students and hence these are the Chosen who make their differences known by daring to enter class even if they have already passed the course as sit-in students - a feat of great surprise to the Instructor and of great interest to them, as it gives them the opportunity to see their mad Instructor friend at work, among other interesting agendas.

Ang grupong ito ay ang mga sitin na pinagtatawanan ang mahal nating prof.

The Rational Castes

Rational Caste Algebraics represent one of ALGEBRA's most interesting topics - Rational Expressions and the concept of Rationalization. The topic's intricacy is taken with great interest since it involves a lot of factoring knowledge and radical familiarity, and the concept of rationalization usually tackles the forced removal of the radical expression from the denominator, which still results in an expression with a radical on it - a poor attempt at making the impossible possible - complete removal of the radical expression itself. Hence these are the Chosen who try their hardest at things other than ALGEBRA during the subject, but fail dismally.

Ang grupong ito ay yung nag dadamoves sa crush niya na hindi naman maka damoves kaya ewan ko nalang sa kanya.

The Exponential Caste

One of the most interesting Castes, the Exponential Caste channels the innate two-sided face of the topic itself - the sheer simplicity of solving Exponential expressions, yet the grim confusing side to learning the topic by heart on its other side. The Chosen who are chosen under this caste are those who are toying the line between comprehension and depression, ready to be raised to a higher positive power or be downgraded by getting raised to a negative power.

Ang groupong ito ay yung mga nasisiraan na ng bait dahil sa mahal nating prof.

The i Caste

Queer as the Caste may sound, the special i Caste deals with the parallelism of its Chosen with the mathematical expression i, which stands for the square root of -1, an expression that up until now bears no mathematical proof of its exact value but used nonetheless for certain ALGEBRA solutions. Its lack of hope for a solution and its sheer difference to the rest of its brethren in ALGEBRA has channeled through its Chosen, representing all those who seemed to have lost faith in their ALGEBRA lives and trying to find renewal or further insanity into infinity.

Ang grupong ito ay yung mga nasiraan na ng bait at naka tulala sa kawalan... DAHIL SA MAHAL NATING PROF.

***

So there you have them, the Algebraic Exalted. Under which Caste do you belong?

A Series of Fail Events II: Algebra Madness

I entered my third class for the day, which is ALGEBRA for a repeater class of Tourism students. I had thought way way back that taking up a class of repeaters for a course I had loved since high school would be taxing on my sanity in the sense that I would be handling delinquents who do not show up in class or lash back at their instructors etc etc.

Well it was still taxing, but I didn't expect it to tax my sanity in THAT way.

The following scenes I will detail do not exactly comprise whole scenes, as these madnesses happened in rather quick succession. I will just detail them as I see best.

Scenes: The Algebra Fails

Me: Ok guys, in multiplication, how does one do the process of multiplication? Let's try an example such as 746 x 34
Class: *computes for the answer*
Me: Good, so ok how about this one, 4 x 3 = ?
Student 1: Sir 12.
Me: Ok pero since may carry 2 pa, so 12 + 2 = ?
Student 2: Sir 16!
Me: *blink* Wat.

Me: So in adding polynomials, x2 (x squared) + x2 = 2x2, so we add those polynomials having like terms only, ok? So how about this one *adds a 4 and 3 as numerical coefficients on the x squareds*
Student 1: Sir wait lang.
Me: Mm? Yes?
Student 1: Sir teka, confused lang ako kung san nanggaling yung 2x squared.
Me: Well, you add the two x squareds together to get 2x squared.
Student 1: Sir hindi, hindi nyo ko gets, teka *walks up to board*
Student 2: Oh ayan na si *insert Student 1's name here* oh lalaban na!
Me: Hindi din kita magets, sige turo mo *hands Student 1 the marker*
Student 1: Kasi sir diba kanina me x squared dito so pano naging 2x squared yun?
Me: Kasi po yung x squared na yan merong 1 na numerical coefficient. 1+1 = ?
Student 1: 2 po. Ah, ok sir sige.
Me: Ayun.

Me: Ok guys so pano naman to, let's look at (3x squared)(2x)
Student 3: Sir 6x squared po.
Me: Ha? Bakit?
Student 3: Sir kasi 3 x 2 po tapos yung x squared.
Me: So papano yung x nung 2x?
Student 3: Ay oo nga pala sir, so x cubed.
Me: Ok, let me review and clarify lang for everyone ha. Kapag walang coefficient ang x, ibig sabihin meron syang coefficient na 1. Pag walang exponent ang x ibig sabihin meron syang exponent na 1. Pag walang denominator ang x ibig sabihin meron syang denominator na 1, ok? Alam nyo na kung san nagtatago ang mga 1 sa ALGEBRA?
Class: Yes sir.

*Scenes End*

Suffice to say this last round of madness made my day completely.

A Series of Fail Events I: Morning Madness

Being a loyal follower of the Legion of Sabaw I am inherently sabaw in most things I do and the most sabaw things seem to happen to me all the time. Today, one of my most loaded schedules in the week, I am faced with four instances of madness, three of which I will share here and the fourth I will detail in the next post.

Suffice to say today I stared right into the face of madness.

Scene One: The Fail Librarian

I had forgotten to borrow a Management Information Systems textbook from the library during my previous lesson schedule, hence I opted to obtain one right before my 7:30 AM class today. In entering the library I had no idea that it opens at exactly 7:30 AM, and it was 7:10 or so when I entered, hoping to acquire a book.

The library circulation area was quiet save for a new library personnel manning the borrower's desk. It took me two attempts to pry open the tightly-shut door of the circulation area and when I got in this rather interesting scene occured.

Library Personnel: *annoyed* Anong oras ang library?
Me: Uhh, manghihiram lang po sana ako ng libro...
Library Personnel: *still annoyed* Hindi mo ba alam na 7:30 ang bukas ng library?
Me: ...
Library Personnel: Balik ka na lang mamaya.
Me: *weakly shows Instructor ID* Uhh... instructor po ako?
Library Personnel: Ha... ah, ok. Sige, anong hihiramin mo?

Suffice to say I was duly annoyed at this lack of respect for those who patronage the library's services. I asked for the book I needed and she complied, then leaving me the usual remark I always get from those who do not seem to know of my existence here as an instructor: "Akala ko estudyante ka po."

Well, the mistaken identities I did not mind at all since I get that all the time. What I didn't appreciate was the treatment I got.

*Scene Ends*

So I entered my first class today, that would be MINSYST for AC81 and commenced discussions as normal. At the end of the class, with several minutes to spare before the official dismissal time, my students approached me and asked me to help them with their Business Mathematics 2 assignment. Being their teacher in Business Mathematics 1, I obliged to assist them in their time of great aid.

Scene Two: The Fail Math Students

The problem was about the applications of quadratic equations in a business mathematics problem. It was a problem of interesting proportions and I had to read up a little to get the gist of the solution. Afterwards I shared my findings with the rest of the class. This discussion followed suit.

Student 1: Sir paturo naman
Me: Kakaturo ko lang sa mga kaklase mo ah
Student 1: Sige na sir para magets ko din

I obliged again, solving the problem in the whiteboard this time, using up the last few minutes of my MINSYST time for some pro-bono BUSMATH2 teaching.

Me: Parang equations lang din naman to ah. Parang hindi ko kayo naturuan sa BUSMATH ha!
Student 2: Sir hindi naman to parehas ng BUSMATH nyo e, may ALGEBRA na tong kasama.

It should be noted here that I handled their ALGEBRA class as well three trimesters ago. The next statement made my day - for that time.

Student 3: A, so ibig nating sabihin wala din tayong natutunan sa ALGEBRA ni sir non?

I let out a wail of frustration and banged my head in the whiteboard. All those who were asking for my guidance went LOL.

*Scene Ends*

I went to my next MINSYST class on AC82 fifteen minutes later and started my discussion as I did with the first. In the middle of the discussion, I committed several tactless and grave mistakes that even I deemed it worthy being in the annals of the Lord of Sabaw's records.

Scene Three: The Fail Instructor

I was discussing how a particular business can achieve the competitive advantage using Information Systems. As we were discussing the 7th initiative to gain the advantage, my wracked-up mind from the first two insane ordeals took its toll.

Me: So to gain the competitive advantage, establishing alliances is key. Sabi nga nila, takpan nyo ang mga butas ninyo para hindi ma exploit ng iba.

Slightly aware of the consequences of what I had just said, I saw the class get a slightly dazed look. Some stifled smirks.

Me: *continues tactlessly* So how do you do this? Pano nyo tatakpan ang mga butas ninyo?

By this time everything made sense. Most of the class was already smirking, so I changed tack to my usual mad mode in class.

Me: ANG MGA INIISIP NYO HA! HINDI GANUNG BUTAS ANG TINUTUKOY KO!

And the class went LOL.

Me: Ok fail. Blogworthy ito.

*Scene Ends*

I had thought these three scenes sufficed to complete my blogworthy post of the day, but when I entered my third class in ALGEBRA, I was actually in for more madness.

To the next class!

Crazed over Assignments

As a student I was a diligent follower of the fact that assignments should be done at home and submitted on time at school - that is, before the class starts and when the teacher asks for them before the discussion of said assignment begins.

Well, at least that worked from elementary until most of high school. From there on I fancied doing assignments from several hours to several minutes before they were due to be submitted. In College it became no better, reduced to doing an assignment before the class even begins. Heck, it even happened that I just remembered there was an assignment before the class started!

Now that I'm on the other side of the classroom, giving assignments has been commonplace for me. In fact, I enjoy reading students' assignments especially if it's essay or opinion-based homeworks. I regularly make it a point to mark each students' paper with my own notes based on what they had answered and try to pierce, taunt, joke, or comment about their replies. It's like an interactive thing, them responding to my (or the book's) questions and me replying in kind.

So anyway, I set an assignment for my Management Information Systems class last week - a simple case study about FedEx's success in using Information Systems in the past. Lo and behold was I surprised that when I entered the first-period MINSYST class I held (AC81), they were all looking down on yellow sheets of paper, writing furiously with their pens.

Evidently student attitude has not improved over the months of my absence.

I try (and try hard) to collect the assignments but they just begged for a little bit of time. I even tried the counting to ten trick and it somewhat worked, forcing some of them to reveal their hands. I was not annoyed over this lack of responsibility, really, since I can understand these students also had things to do and if they wished to rush over this assignment then its something they're doing to themselves. No need to work myself over that, just keep taunting them and forcing them into my insane way of thinking :P

The same incident occurred in my second class and I was almost amused by this time, for student attitude really has never changed and it seems more fun that way. It'd be no fun for such an instructor as myself to have such angelic, obedient students.

Or at least, I had hoped so.

After class I lounged myself into my usual quarters at the 5th floor where we were joined by my colleagues-at-work, co-workers, and some students, two of whom were under the second class I had. I took a seat near a co-worker and the scene follows suit.

Scene: The "Assignment"

This co-worker of mine looks up from his computer terminal and asks me.

Co-Worker: So kamusta naman ang klase mo?
Me: Ok naman, masaya as usual.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone reading something. Piqued by curiosity I turned to see one of my students sitting beside me with his back to me. I look over and lo and behold I see him reading the case study assignment I had set upon them last week and collected just today.

Me: *humorously* Antigas din naman ng mukha mo no, magbabasa ka na nga lang ng pinasa nang assignment, sa tabi ko pa talaga.
Student: Syempre naman sir. Pasa ko to mamaya ha?
Me: *still humorously* Basta ba minus 10 kada oras na late ka.
Student: Haha, sige lang sir.

To the average instructor this might already be insubordination in the works, but I don't bother myself with stressing over such trifles. The assignment was just to test the waters as to how my students reason with this subject anyway, not exactly a long exam worth sweating over on issues like cheating or shit.

Me: At least si Kevin diba kahit parang di nakikinig sa klase ko kanina nagpasa naman ng assignment.
Kevin: Ser di pa din ako nagpapasa nyan.

My brains just went LOL.

Me: *humorously still* ... mga walanghya kayo kala ko naman good example kayo sa mga accountancy students na kaklase ninyo, yun pala kayo pa ata magpapasimuno ng BI (Bad Influence) sa kanila!

And the entire room went LOL.

*Scene Ends*

And that is how my first round of handing out assignments has turned out so far. LOL

The Poser Instructor II

In continuation of my antics played on my new Tourism students, one of the girls who was sitting in on the ALGEBRA class (a classmate of theirs who was not enrolled in the class but happened to be enrolled on the BUSMATH class I was handling) asked me for an encore of the performance in the case of her classmates (which also happened to be their classmates too). You can say that the ALGEBRA class I was handling were those who did not make it through the mathematical ordeal while the BUSMATH class were the survivors.

Hence I start narrating the rather bland tale of how my antics worked on this class.

Scene Two: The greater BUSMATH class

I marched straight into the 10th floor from my usual quarters in the 5th floor along with an accomplice, one who has accompanied me on my previous antics from yesterday. This time I found a class that was almost empty of students save for those who were lounging around in their free time. Suffice to say I was even more surprised to see that this classroom held armchairs instead of tables and chairs, the traditional classroom layout of the school. And it held seats for 38 students.

I came in my same garb: the tattered red shoulderbag with my markers, eraser, and ID stuffed inside, and the BUSMATH textbook with the classlist folded inside the pages. The accomplice and myself took seats near the backrow, beside several armchairs evidently reserved for other students, as given away by their bags.

Me: BUSMATH po ba to?
Girl # 1: Opo
Me: *turns to accomplice # 1* Ah so dito pala tayo.

We took our seats and I did my usual glancing around and measuring the class - or at least what remained of it. This class evidently did a lot of lounging around during the 15-minute breaks between classes. The students were unnaturally quiet and talking in low voices like as if there was a funeral.

From the door windows I made out the victims to my antics from the ALGEBRA class yesterday and I subtly shushed them from sabotaging the entire operation. Fortunately they got the idea. They evidently wanted their classmates to experience the same thing.

Accomplice: *text-typed message over phone* Ang tahimik nila :))
Me: *low voice* Oo nga eh.

Soon the clock ringtone sounded and the students started piling in, most of them carrying plastic bags loaded with snacks, evidently from the convenience store in our neighborhood gas station. Man, these students must not be able to wait for lunch, for they ripped open their goods and started eating while making small talk.

Student # 1: Anong pinag-aralan nung friday (sa BUSMATH)?
Student # 2: Ano... payroll ata, and salaries.

I immediately shifted the pages of my textbook towards the next lesson (Discounts), as I was clueless about this class's progress in the lessons and was thinking which to discuss. Thank you for the volunteer information, I said to myself.

I felt the call of nature knocking hence I turned to my accomplice:

Me: CR lang ako. Pagbalik ko AKO na.
Accomplice: Ok.

I gathered my things subtly, went out via the backdoor, and was welcomed by my ALGEBRA students. I again reminded them not to sabotage the operation and they promptly agreed, smirking as I went.

I "changed" forms inside the CR, wearing my Instructor ID and holding my things out instructor-fashion, then went straight into their classroom through the front door, laying my things on the table as I always do. Some of them were utterly bewildered, like as if I was some mistaken prof who went in the wrong class. Those who saw me come in posing even gawked at me.

Me: Ok guys, let's get ready, I will be taking over your BUSMATH class for this term.

I must admit the expression of shock was less than expected, although the ALGEBRA folks, who were now leaning against the front door of the classroom, were all evidently amused.

I started the class by introducing myself then provoked them to ask me questions. The popular one arose: How old are you sir?

Me: Take a guess.

Evidently one of the worst replies I make everytime I'm asked about it, since I get a bird's eye view of how old I look like. Their assumptions were close to truth though - 19, 20, 21, 25, 28, and I was shocked to hear a 32.

Me: I'm just 20 years old. I started teaching when I was 19.

As always, it did it's job - shock students to oblivion. Is it really that of a surprise that someone as young as myself would stand before people about the same age as I am (there was one guy who was older than me LOL) and teaching them like as if we're on an entirely different level?

Guess so, so I just went on into the discussion.

*Scene Ends*

Looks like I'm in for a very interesting trimester this time :D

The Poser Instructor I

Class has been in session for the second week already yet things have already been spruced up a little in my favor. Allow me to share the amusing turn of events that transpired when I first entered my ALGEBRA and BUSMATH classes.

To set the mood, the course was handed down to me by our Mathematics Coordinator as the first week of class dawned on its end. Load revision permitted the formation of new courses and one of them was a repeater's class in ALGEBRA and shuffling instructor loads led to a vacancy in BUSMATH. Hence I was handed down both courses, both overseeing Tourism students.

Piqued with curiosity as to the nature of this class, which evidently were first years given by their section, I was tempted by my co-worker colleagues to pose as a student enrolled in the classes I was teaching. I had to admit the idea was fun to note as I continue receiving feedback that I still look like a student. Heck, even the faculty room receptionist screens me first before letting me in, thinking that I'm a student who's not supposed to be there at all (that is, until they see the instructor's ID hanging down my neck.)

The following scenes took place in two separate instances: the ALGEBRA class with the repeaters yesterday, then the BUSMATH class just today. This post will cover the ALGEBRA part of the scene.

Scene One: The shamed ALGEBRA class

I entered the classroom wearing a tattered red shoulderbag I always wear to stuff my small knickknacks - in this case it was stuffed with my whiteboard markers, my eraser, and my instructor ID. I can't certainly strut around like a student holding or wearing those things, right?

I was accompanied by three of my friends who were all in their 4th year in the same college. Hey, I must admit I have a lot of student friends as well. The conversations that will follow are anonymously named and make use of the actual language (I find it more effective than translating)

Me: ALGEBRA po ito?
Girl # 1: Opo
Me: Ah ok, so dito po pala ko *finds a place to sit in the back of the class*

At this point my "accomplices" took their places around the classroom as well, although straying near the back area. I observed this class and saw that there were just a handful of students, most of them women.

Girl # 1: Bagsak din po kayo sa ALGEBRA? *addresses us*
Me: Hindi po
Girl # 2: Ah ok, kasi kame bagsak e.

This was said with much pride that I can't tell whether its sarcasm or regret. I just silently shrugged and pretended to read the textbook I brought along with me (inside therein holding a copy of the class list). At this point the girls started talking amongst themselves.

Girl # 1: Kilala nyo ba kung sino yung prof?
Girl # 2: Hindi e, pero sabi nila bata daw.
Girl # 3: And magaling. Nakakatakot nga e
Accomplice # 2: Allan *turns to me* kilala mo ba yung prof?
Me: *shoots a warning glance* Hinde.

I heard the clock ringtone sound, heralding the start of the 11am classes. I let the mood sink in a little more and several more students piled in until the class was half-full. I then subtly wore my Instructor ID, keeping the card hidden inside my shoulderbag.

Several minutes later, afraid that the guard (who regularly checks Instructor attendance) might find the class empty and mark me absent, I signalled my accomplice silently.

Me: Anong oras na?
Accomplice # 1: 11:15.

Unable to contain it any longer, I burst out.

Me: Ok itigil na natin to *marches straight into the Instructor's Desk and straightening out ID* Welcome to your ALGEBRA class, guys.
Girls: *gawk* OH SHET.

At this point the accomplices address me one last time as 'Sir Dave' and wave before leaving the classroom. The mission had been accomplished.

Me: Sorry for the deception guys, although I found it thoroughly amusing. I hope none of you were taken aback.
Girl # 1: Seryoso sir kayo yung prof namin?
Me: Opo. Don't worry, I won't take it against you guys. Hindi naman ako nambabagsak *smile*

*Scene Ends*

And that is how my first antic of the term commenced. The next one happened right after that, on my BUSMATH class the following day. To the next post!